Autumn is coming...

I can feel it in the air, though not quite literally because it is 92 degrees out today. But I just have that change of season feeling going on. School starts for Annabelle in one week, fall clothes are out on all the racks at the stores, and I've been humming Christmas songs. But the thing that is really exciting me is hockey season is right around the corner.

I've seen the local skating rink's parking lot filled up with big, expensive SUV's in the middle of the day, which is the signal that the Sabres are back in town and starting informal practices on their own. Soon it will be training camp and pre-season games. It's just one thing that makes me love living in Buffalo. We are a town of eternal optimists, even when our teams (suck it Bills) are going down. You see Bills and Sabres t-shirts and jerseys worn tear round but when September hits, the air is electric with hope and positivity. This will be the year we go all the way.

That is until we hit a snag, or Ryan Miller goes down with an injury, or Vanek and Pominville and Roy suck it up like last season. But right now I'm just pumped to go watch a few practices. I'll hide in the back hoping I won't be perceived as a puck bunny and just wait as patiently as I can for Friday October 8, the first game of the season.

LET'S GO BUFFALO!!!

UGH!

It hasn't even been two weeks and there's another death in my family. This one was much more expected but my dad is still going to freak out. I've always heard that death/bad news always comes in three's. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

This is the last week before school starts and I wanted to be able to do some fun things with Annabelle but it won't be happening. Another funeral plus it's going to be in the 90's all week. Yuck. I need a break

Skinny Jeans!

I have done the unimaginable. I bought... skinny jeans. Wait not skinny jeans but jeggings. I'm slightly embarrassed about it because what respectable 32 year old woman buys, let alone wears jeggings. (That term is just awful, by the way.)

So there is a story as to why I did this. I started exercising and eating better in mid-February and lost 15 pounds. I was feeling good so I thought that I would lose a bit more, and be able to possibly wear skinny jeans in the fall because I have some really cute boots that are just begging to be shown off. So fast forward to now and I haven't lost any weight but actually gained 3 pounds over the summer. Then a friend of mine tells me that she bought some and they look great! Jo and I are similarly shaped but she's got a bit more junk in her trunk, so to speak. So I thought' "Well, if she can do it, so can I."

I went shopping at the mall because I had a coupon for New York and Co and I took my sister along with me. My sister has no filter on her mouth, she just lets it all out there, and then sometimes has to deal with the consequences later.

But I knew she would tell me the truth and that she wouldn't want me walking around looking like a whale. I tried on the skinny jeans and they just didn't look much different then my straight leg Levi's so Heather went and got me the jeggings. I had to try on about 6 pairs before I found the right ones but I looked good-ish. I didn't look huge, they were comfortable. I felt a little bit sexy and Heather said I looked GOOD so I bought them. I still want to lose 10-15 more pounds and I might even have a chance of doing that now that my chiropractor gave me the OK to start light exercise again. Maybe these pants will give me that incentive to strut a little bit now:)

Genealogy

I've always been interested in finding out my roots, not the ones on my head but my family roots. I like to do things the easy way which includes the free way, so I've never gotten very far with my search. I know up to my great-great grandparents on my mother's side (maternal) but because I've never met and only spoke to my mother's father once, I know nothing on his side besides his name.

On my dad's side I only had up to my grandparents names. My father has a bad memory for things like names and dates so if I asked him questions, most of the time he couldn't remember his own mother's birthday. And to make matters worse, my grandpa, Robert married Jean. Grandpa had a cousin, Robert, who married a Jean as well. All of them were born around the same time and because I didn't know my grandma's birth date, I was stuck.

So last week, when my uncle passed away, we ended up with some new and interesting information about my family history. My grandfather's youngest sister, Viola (known as Babe) had all kinds of info that her daughter brought to the funeral to show everyone! Oh My Gosh! I am beyond excited about it! I now know the names of my grandfathers parents as well as the names of my great-great grandparents. And there were pictures! It was so awesome to see my history unfolding right in front of my eyes.

My dad's cousin promised to get us copies of everything and my dad offered to pay for the subscription to some genealogy sites if I did the work. I can't wait to learn about where I came from because up until last Saturday I didn't even know how many brothers and sisters my grandpa had let alone names and dates of important things. So I guess out of the tragedy of my uncle dying so suddenly, we got some good news that we wouldn't have gotten otherwise. Plus my family is claiming to want to try to get together more often. I guess we see if that happens when the time comes though.

Sad

I got a major wake up call yesterday afternoon. My Uncle Bob passed away from a massive heart attack. He was only 62 years old. He was my dad's oldest brother, only 8 years older than my dad. That is the part that kills me. What if I only have 8 years left with my dad? This has brought out the idea of my father's mortality. He smokes like a chimney and drinks like it's going out of style and he's so accident prone. He's constantly falling off of ladders, nail gunning himself to things getting run over by fork lifts. I'm not ready for my dad to die. He's not perfect, but he's all mine.

The other thing that bothers me is this. My family is not a super close one, especially on my dad's side. I only really see them at weddings and funerals. I had to Facebook my cousin to tell him that his father had died because they don't speak to each other anymore. It made me so sad that his mother and brother wouldn't even know how to get a hold of him for something this important. My sister and I don't always get along. There is almost 5 years between us and our mentalities and our lives are every different from each other but I can't ever imagine cutting her out of my life permanently. When something awful happens you are supposed to be able to lean on your family so that you don't fall down and my aunt and cousins don't have that right now.

As I said, I wasn't close with my uncle. In fact there are many times that he was just really weird or said things that are just wrong. But he loved to dance. His favorite song was "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls. It's a classic wedding song and when it came on he would jump into the middle of the dance floor so that every eye would be on him. He would be singing at the top of his voice and waving his hands in the air, having a great time. It always made me laugh so when I'm crying at his funeral later this week, I'll try to think of him having a blast where ever he is. Dancing to It's Raining Men:)

Road Work

One of the reasons that I'm happy to see summer ending is that road work will soon be ending as well:) Now in the Buffalo area, it only takes you about 20-25 minutes tops to get almost anywhere. So when one of our major roads is under construction and it adds tens of minutes to the ride, we are furious. Now I know that people who live in bigger cities think nothing of commuting an hour each way but in Buffalo, that's just insane. I remember friends and family looking at us like we were crazy when we bought our house. My husband worked in Orchard Park at the time and we bought a house in Williamsville. Orchard Park is down south and Williamsville is in the northtowns, a staggering 35-45 minute drive contingent on rush hour traffic.

But anyways, I got off on a tangent. Road work. One of our main roads near our house had been undergoing a complete transformation this entire spring and summer. Maple Road is a busy street lined with restaurants, grocery stores, and a mall, so it's really hard to avoid. So at least once a week for grocery shopping plus eating out, etc I had to drive down the road with it's ever changing lanes changes and cones and some really hot construction workers (there's just something about those hard hats). So I was all ready for this today when voila! The work is done! I'm so freakin' happy about this it's not even funny. I guess it's the simple things that make me happy:)

My Mark

Yesterday was our 15 year dating anniversary. It blows my mind that the boy that I had a mini crush on when I was 17 years old, ended up becoming my husband. We have been through it all, the ups and downs of two people learning about each other and growing up together. We've had some REALLY low lows and super highs and we've ended up somewhere in the middle.

There are so many reasons to love him. He has a great smile and a wonderful laugh. He's thoughtful and kind. He's the guy that will snow blow the neighbors driveway just because or help little old lady's put their groceries into their trunks. And the way he looks at me with his- you look so cute face. It makes me melt. There's nothing sexy about that face. I don't have to brace myself to be pounced on. It just shows me how much he still loves me 15 years later.

There are times when I forget all of those magical qualities that he has. When I'm cranky and annoyed with things that have yet to be finished or when he throws his dirty underwear on the floor, I know that I can sound downright mean to him. But then I'll watch him, like I did on Saturday, carry our sleeping daughter up the stairs to her bedroom. The extreme care and love that he holds her little body with. It makes me fall in love just a little bit more with him.

I am a very lucky girl:)

Super Heroes

Annabelle and I were watching The Incredibles the other day. You know, the Pixar film about super heroes that have to go underground and hide their identities. Well, it got me thinking. Do we all have a "super power" that we hide away from other people?

Obviously, I don't mean having actual super powers like the ability to fly or invisibility. Though the ability to become invisible whenever I wanted holds so much appeal for me. I mean, I can think of tons of reasons why this would be AWESOME! But let's get off of that tangent, I'm talking about maybe more mundane things. Maybe you have an amazing memory or can draw or paint or are super good at math or be able to spin around 10,000 times without getting dizzy. The little things that make you, you. Your special little something and we all have one.

For example, I am a great tickler. Kids run giggling from me and my tickle fingers. You should just hear Annabelle shriek, NO MORE, OK tickle me AGAIN! I'm also pretty crafty. I've made some really cute scrapbook pages that I'm really proud of and could look at all day long. And I can crochet. I have made blankets for every single child I know and gave them to them at birth. It's just that something extra that I know I appreciate when others do that kind of thing for my daughter. But you wouldn't know I could do any of these things just by looking at me until I come at you with my tickle fingers ready:)

So what are your secret talents, your secret identity?

Migraines

If you've ever had a migraine, then you know how I'm feeling right now. Crappy. Between the pain and the after effects of the medication it just ends up being a bad day. This is day #3 for me.

I've been getting them since I was 13 years old and I've tried almost everything. So many medications- OTC, daily prescriptions, prescriptions for onset of pain, exercise, acupuncture. Acupunture helped. It made the pain much more managable but I was having a hard time making it to my appointmants. I couldn't bring Annabelle with me to these appointmants and finding a babysitter every week was hard. Plus I could only go at certain times of the day because if I went to close before or after a meal I would pass out!

Now I'm trying a chiropractor. I'm going for multiple reasons. Firstly, my back hurts. I can't pull something out of the oven without my back twinging so picking up a 30 pound child when she's tired or crabby is killer. But there have been some studies that show a chiropractor can help with migraines. Something about the way your head is sitting on top of your spinal cord.

So wish me luck! I'm nervous that I'll hurt worse or end up getting cracked wrong and not being able to walk. I'm sure I'll be fine but until I'm done I will be a freak. Just like before my laser eye surgery I was afraid I'd be blind. I remember staring at Annabelle until the last possible moment to make sure I would remember what she looked like just in case. I'll probably be down on the floor, playing My Little Ponies and holding her until I have to leave, just in case.

Complaining

I feel like I've been complaining a lot. About my family, my weight, summer slipping away, etc. But I'm really not that person! I have some great qualities, I swear! So here is a quick list of things that make me happy.

1. My husband. We've been married for almost 7 years and they have been mostly wonderful.
2. My daughter's giggle. The real one, not the fake one. When she laughs so hard that she gets the hic ups.
3. That I'm a curvy girl. I weigh about 15 pounds more than I would like and I'm working on it. I look at the super skinny, no boobs or butt, boy shaped girls out there and I think it looks awful! I have boobs, hips, thighs (sigh) and a tiny waist. I'm a woman, not a girl.
4. I have the cutest freckles. They aren't the sexiest thing but I am your average girl-next-store. I think that I take people by surprise.
5. My friends. They make me laugh and they don't act like I should be a better person. They like me just the way I am.
6. Sabres hockey. Just knowing that the hockey season will be starting soon makes me giddy. I love being able to go to games or watching them practice on off days 5 minutes from my house.
7. My hockey boyfriend:) I have a crush on one of the Sabres players (Paul Gaustad)and it makes me happy when he's on the ice.
8. Singing. I do it all the time. I make up my own songs that make no sense to anyone but it doesn't stop me at all.
9. I'm crafty. I like to scrapbook and I've started doing some sewing.
10. I have finally decorated my house to my specifications and it's pretty. I have one room left to paint but it is the hard one. Vaulted ceilings=yuck to paint.
11. Christmas!!!! I love it. Everything about it. I'm ready for Christmas carols and movies and decorations. Love, love, love!
12. Swings. they are my favorite part of going to a playground. I could swing for hours if Annabelle would let me.

I guess I can add to this when I can think of other things but that's a good start.

School!

I have to take Annabelle to drop off all of her school supplies and the myriad of forms that I had to fill out to school today! I'm super excited for some reason but I'm nervous at the same time. I was told that there would be even more forms to fill out and that I have to sign her up for testing. I have no idea what the test will entail but I want her to be the best. I've heard that it will be basic knowledge stuff (name, address, how high she can count, what letters she recognizes) and gross motor stuff (jumping, balance, etc).

I think she'll do OK on the first part. She knows all the letters of her name and her address, can count to 20, and we've been working on the phone number. The second part though is seriously iffy. She is less then grace personified. She only learned how to jump with 2 feet 6 months ago. I think she's supposed to be able to hop on one foot by now but she's not even close on that one. My 2 year old niece can run faster, jump higher and hop all over the place! I don't know how to teach her these things. But I will just try to roll with the punches.

Then in 2 weeks we get to meet her teacher and classmates! The suspense is killing me! I'm going to head to the outlet mall next week to shop til I drop for new fall clothes. It will seem more interesting because this year, they are school clothes!

Stagette Party

My aunt is getting married in October. Annabelle will be a flower girl, which I am pretty excited about. This is my aunt's second marriage as well as her fiance's second. The have no need for a shower because they already have two of everything so my mother decided that we should throw her a personal shower/stagette.

I came home from grocery shopping today to a message on the answering machine from my mom. She sounded so giddy that I was clueless as to what was up. My mom is not a giddy person. The she starts telling me about her need for dick cake pans, cookies, and do i know where to find a stripper (I don't). I'm in charge of invites. I have to decide how, as my mother put it, silly I want them to be. The party will include about 12 women ranging in age from 72 (my gram) to 18 (my cousin). I know that I will also have to make a penis pinata and my mom, sister and I will be heading over to the local porn store for goody bag options.

Part of me thinks that this is weird. I don't want to look at kinky sex toys with my mom, but at the same time, I'm not a prude. Luckily there will be copious amounts of alcohol involved with the party so that will lower my inhibitions. This is just another one of those things that make me realize that being an adult is bizarre. When I was in my late teens, even my twenties, my mom would have never done any of these kinds of things with me. I guess being 32, married with a child has put me on more equal footing. Weird!