No Time!

• Life seems crazy hectic lately.  Any time I spend on the computer right now is limited.  While I'm not the type of person that likes to spend much time on-line, I'm spending even less time than usual lately.
• I haven't had any urge to write anything here.  I also haven't been reading any of the blogs that I usually read or even go on FB much lately.  I'm feeling like there is just a bit to much information out there to be had right now. 
• I only have one more laser appointment before I get measured.  It had better be worth it!
• I cannot wait to go to the chiropractor tomorrow.  My back is in pretty good shape now.  Now we are going to start working on my migraine issues.  I thought my head might literally explode the other day it hurt so bad.  Pretty much I'm hoping for a miracle here.
• Annabelle is growing up too fast for me.  I had to register her for Kindergarten this morning.  I just had to drop off her medical forms and residency stuff, make an appointment for the testing, but I felt a little bit teary eyed doing it.  It feels like it was just yesterday that she was a my tiny, little peanut and now she's getting ready to ride the bus and go to big kid school.
• Yesterday was Dad's Day at school.  Mark got to spend the day with her at school, making crafts and singing and dancing.  I can't wait for Mom Day in May:)
• We have a little over 5 weeks until we leave for vacation and we still haven't really booked anything.  I need to get going on that.

My Crafty Little One

Annabelle had been asking to scrapbook for months, so when my Grandma asked what she could get her for Christmas, I decided she needed a scrapbook of her very own.  Things got busy with the holidays and play dates and dance classes and regular old life and the scrapbook was pushed to the side and forgotten.  But last week, she began asking for it again.  I started printing out pictures for her and we went to Michael's to get some stickers.  She was hung ho, full out.  Here are a few of her pages.  My favorite ones with her own little bits of personality.

Every scrapbook needs a title page.  How else are people supposed to know what the book is about?

Pooh Bear is still one of her favorite guys.  This is the very first page she made:)

At first she just wanted to put stickers on the page and be done with it.  I encouraged her to draw some pictures of her favorite things about each character.  On this page she drew Jasmine, Aladdin, with Abu on his shoulder and the Genie.  I love the Genie magic stars she drew around him.

I helped her write out Princess Aurora, don't you just love the backwards s?  And the spinning wheel?  I said that she should draw Prince Philip or the 3 Fairy Godmothers but she chose the spinning wheel.

As she kept going she started really getting the hang of it.  She didn't need any coaching about the movie or any of her favorite parts.  I'm most impressed with her drawing of Lumiere.  She did it from memory, not even looking at the DVD cover:)

I had to go out and buy more page protectors because she's asking to make many more pages than I thought she would want to do.  I know I'm just the overly proud Mommy right now, but it's so good and so cute, right?

From Stripper Poles to Flower Seeds

Last weekend was a busy one for us. It started on Saturday with a stop at the gym, my third laser treatment, and then getting ready for the evening. This included packing up Annabelle's over night bag to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house. They picked her up at 2 which left me with just enough time to shower and get ready to out to dinner with Mark. He was jonesing for some cheesecake so we sped on over to The Cheesecake Factory. Except there was an hour and a half wait. People! It was only 4:30! Grrr, it has to be all those Canadians that troop on over on weekends because that is ridiculous! We then tried P. F. Changs and Hyde Park, again super long waits. We ended up going to Bravo because it was only a 45 minute wait, which stretched to about an hour and 15 minutes but who's counting. Once we finished dinner we had to race back home to change because we had a St. Patty's Day party to attend at Stampy's Pub and Poker Place (friend's of ours house).

So once we get there, some drinking ensues. But I was good, 1 shot, 1 pudding shot and one very weak drink. So the evening started out good. Me and my girls take a quick photo op before the real drinking starts:)

Here is the proof that Mark can work that pole. Oh, if he only had some flowing hair.

Then everyone in the place tried on my cousin Mike's hat. Mark really works it don't you think?

I also had my shot with the hat while Krissy wore someone else's hat. Keith's maybe? We are some hot chicks!

The reason there was no heavy drinking for me was because we had tickets to go to the Shrine Circus the next day at 1. Hangovers plus circus would equal H-E- Double hockey sticks don't you think? we ended up having a good time even though it was way too super long. Two and a half hours is overkill in my opinion.

Mark had to buy Annabelle her very own clown nose.

And she absolutely needed that $6 pony ride. But doesn't she look sweet up there?

The show was capped off with an elephant performance. It was Annabelle's favorite besides the acrobats. No pictures of that because Mark had the camera at that point. Annabelle's tells us she will be an acrobat because she already knows how to swing and jump. She's all set!

And to finish off the night, Annabelle had a message on the answering machine from our next door neighbor, Mrs Pierce. We went over to plant some geranium seeds to plant in the back yard if it ever stops snowing. We already have some little sprouts pushing through. Makes me yearn for springtime.

Do You Believe in Ghosts?

I have a very open mind on this subject. I like to watch Ghosts Hunters on SyFy. I love that they have been to Buffalo on numerous occasions and always seem to find ghosts and things that bump in the night. I also have read, as Annabelle would say, super lots of ghost stories. Ones that are supposedly true. I think that there is something else out there and a way for people who have died to make contact with the living.



I've been reading up on haunted New Orleans lately. It would be so much scary, fun if we had our own little encounter. I'm not talking about something major but a weird photo or strange sighting. I just want my own experience.



I may have had a small ghostly encounter when I was in LA with a friend but then again, we may have just scared each other. Nothing may have happened but I'm going to say there was a possibility. Staying at an old-time haunted hotel can do that to you. And when you have another person there scaring you even more... well let's just say it's really very easy to let your imagination go wild.



But beyond my maybe ghost encounter and my slight hope for one, I really believe because my mom says she had one. My mom sometimes (OK , almost always) exaggerates but I believe her story with my whole heart. It's not a scary story, it's one of comfort for her and because I know the story, for me.



My father's mother, Grandma Jean, died back in 1979. She was only 54 years old when she had a massive brain aneurysm about a month before my first birthday. It was devastating for everyone that knew her. All of the stories I hear are of her kindness, her loving, her laugh. She is a person that I missed out on, which sucks. But anyway, the night after her funeral my mom said she went to bed. She was tired and sad and angry and confused, not a good way to fall asleep. When she woke up sometime in the middle of the night, she could feel something on the bed near her. It was my Grandma Jean, wearing the dress she was just buried in. She told my mom to not be sad, that she would be watching over her family. That she loved us all so much and that she was OK. My mom never said anything back to her, she was stunned. And my Grandmother just faded away.



I know it could be a dream that she had just to make herself feel better. Maybe that's what it was. I know that I've had so many close calls out there. When I was so sure that something bad was about to happen and then something changed that progress. I like to think it's my Grandma, watching over me.



I think that someday I will see her again even though it won't be for a long time. When my Grandpa passed away, my dad's cousin (a nurse) was there with him. She said that he whispered Jean right before he took his last breath. She told me that she felt like there was someone else in the room at that moment. She said it was my Grandmother. Was it just a story that she was telling me to make me feel better? Again, maybe it was. But I choose to believe that there is a love that she had that led my Grandfather out of his painful existence and into a wonderful one with his two of his three wives, siblings and parents and friends.



So yes, I can say with complete certainty that I believe in ghosts.

Are You Irish?

It's St. Patrick's Day and I could really care less. I'm not Irish, I don't drink green beverages or eat corned beef, I don't plan on going to any parades. Some friends of ours have an annual St. Patty's Day Party every year that we go to. It's really just an excuse to get together and have some drinks, sing karaoke, and dance around the stripper pole. Yes, they have a stripper pole in their basement and Mark is pretty good at it. :)

Our day isn't going to change much just because we should be on he look out for leprechauns. Annabelle has dance class so dinner is all up in the air. It's going to be warm! Near 60 degrees, so we will do some bike riding after school. I guess St. Patty's Day means it's almost spring to me so that's at least a good thing right? But if you plan on partaking in the green beer or Shamrock shakes go easy. Too much green food coloring can make going potty a little bit interesting:)

One of My Quirks

I hate being late. It makes me cranky and anxious. My heart races, my palms sweat. I can't sit still or stay quiet. If I'm even a few minutes late, I'm upset. Being early means that I'm on-time.

We were running late yesterday morning. I usually leave the house 15 minutes before school starts for the 9 minute drive. We usually have to sit in the car for a few minutes before they open the doors, but at least I know I'm not late. We left 5 minutes later than the usual so I was speeding.

And then I saw the cop heading right for me. He turned on the lights, did a u-ey and pulled me over. I was so mad at myself. I WAS speeding and it was raining, hard. Then I remembered that I left my purse at home, so no license. That's when the waterworks started. I'm embarrassed to say it but my body started doing it's own thing. My hands were shaking, the tears were flowing, wobbly voice, flailing limbs. So not pretty. I just blurted everything out as soon as the cop got to my door. Being late, no purse, I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah.

Luckily he took pity on me. No ticket but I did receive a stern warning about speeding, in this type of weather, with my daughter in the car, did I want to regret an accident my entire life that could be avoided. Man I felt like crap. Annabelle kept asking why I was crying, hopefully she didn't tell her teachers and classmates about my indiscretion.

I'm blaming this on my family. They are always late, sometimes by a lot. This is why I am the way I am. I wouldn't have gotten pulled over for speeding if my parents could arrive on time for things.

***On a side note, we didn't even end up being late to school. Even with the leaving late, the pulling over, the crying and the guilt trip, we ended up pulling into the lot and walking up to the door as Miss Amy was opening it. That's just my life isn't it?***

Religion

I will apologize in advance for this somewhat heavy-handed, long post but here goes.

Mark used to get annoyed with my lax views on organized religion. I grew up in a household that didn't feel going to church was very important. Don't get me wrong, we were taught that God was important, but that there were other views and that we could choose whatever path we wanted. My father is an angry, lapsed Catholic and my mother is a Protestant. Neither me nor my sister were ever baptized. I personally believe that there is more than one way to look at God and how he wants us to live our lives. I believe there is a higher being but that maybe all the stories in the Bible are just that, stories.

Mark on the other hand comes from a pretty religious family. I'm not sure if his parents have ever missed a week of church in the almost 16 years I've known them. That includes vacations and sickness. Having a strong belief system, a Catholic belief system, was important to my husband.

That is until recently. I had noticed that we weren't going to church like we had before. We were pretty regular church-goers. We missed very few weekends and went to most of the holy day masses. But about 6 months ago, our church participation started to dwindle. I didn't think much of it, we are busy people with lots of obligations. Plus we went on vacation, had a wedding to go to, sickness spread around between one or all of us at different points.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. We had been thinking about trying out some different churches in our area. Ours just wasn't meshing with us for quite some time, so we went to a new church to see how their services ran. It was nice, not the most enlightening, religious experience, but nice. The church is beautiful, exactly what a church should look like, as opposed to our current church which is just a brick box. After mass, I asked Mark what he thought and he agreed it was nice and that we should try it out a few more times. The he said, "Maybe it will help me get out of my funk I'm in with God right now. I know a new church shouldn't change that but maybe it will." Now I'm not big on sharing every little emotional thing with people, but Mark likes to talk about stuff like this. And he never mentioned a funk. So when I asked him about it, his only comment was, " Well haven't you noticed we haven't been to church since Joe died?"

I had, I just didn't realize that was his problem. I wrote about Joe dying back when it happened, late September. I don't want to rehash it. It was awful. We had already had 5 or 6 people close to us die in the 6 or so weeks before that. Joe was young and happy and newly married and then he just died. And I was so so so mad at God for it. But Mark never got high or low about it. He wouldn't talk, which should have clued me in. Mark is not a baby but he never cried about it, while I wept and raged. People that were little more than acquaintances were seeing all of my feelings right on my face. Hugs being freely doled out because of my misery.

But now, my husband, who has always held God up on a pedestal, is starting to push Him away. And it hurts me beyond words because God was such an important part of what made Mark, Mark. While I never had the same feelings that he did, I know that going to church and learning some religion from his point of view helped me through some really tough times. I have watched my dad joke about how much religion and church is a waste of time, but also seeing that he doesn't really believe that deep down. I don't want my husband to become jaded by what he feels is an injustice. An injustice that he can't fix by yelling or writing a strongly worded letter to someone or get any kind of recompense.

How do I get him to talk to me when I have no idea what to do or say? I need some guidance and I have no clue who to talk to about it.

This and That

• We went to Buffalo's Home and Garden Show this weekend and had a good time. We got lots of good ideas for things to do around our home and picked out the hardwood floors we want, Brazilian Mahogany. Ooh it's so pretty:)
• While searching for some discount tickets for the Home Show, I found out that Nuremberg, Germany and someplace in Kazakhstan were also having Home Shows the same weekend. I found discount tickets for those shows, which was interesting to say the least.
• My joints are hurting me pretty badly the past 3 days. I don't really know why except maybe the arthritis that I'm pretty sure I have is acting up. My knees are hurting me when I'm sitting down and oh so painful for that hour on the elliptical today. I powered through it but yow they hurt.
• I think we are going to change our TV, phone, Internet provider. We currently have Dish Network and they are starting to drive me nuts. First they get into a fight with MSG so I haven't seen a single Sabres game this year. At first it didn't bother me much but I seriously love my Sabres and I'm going through withdrawal. They are playing great right now, we have a new owner and we are currently in a play-off spot! But now they are fighting with CBS too. No CSI or Oprah or ANTM! We think we'll be getting FiOS:)
• I'm getting scratched. In the middle of the night. I don't know how. I have a 2 inch scratch on my arm, a chunk taken out of my nose and I just found a smaller scratch on my stomach when I was in the shower. These things should hurt me but I'm not feeling it when it happens. I'm only finding out about them way after the fact. Do you think I might have a poltergeist? Ahhhhhhh!
• Annabelle's been watching Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs non-stop lately and it's making her hungry:) She ate a cheeseburger over the weekend! She has NEVER eaten one before and she's asking for pizza for dinner and pancakes and eggs for breakfast. Now I'm getting hungry:)
• Are we done with winter yet? I know I am.

My Blanket

I am mildly crafty. I like to scrapbook and make things from scratch, like cards or invitations. I also like to crochet. My mom taught me when I was in college. Mark had just bought his first brand new car, a Mercury Cougar, with cash! Just an awesome side note, we have never had a car payment except for the 3 years that we leased a Jeep. We have paid cash for every other vehicle we have owned. Mark is so fiscally responsible:) But anyway, I wanted to make him a blanket to keep in his new car just in case he ever got stranded. He worked in Orchard Park, which is in the snow belt and a 35 minute drive from home. So my mom taught me how to make a simple pattern.

I ended up loving to make things with my own two hands. I've made "love" blankets as part of wedding gifts a couple of times and I have made baby blankets for every single one of my friends and my sisters babies. That is well over 20 baby blankets. Every blanket has been different. I've never made the same pattern twice. I wanted each one to be unique. I spent many, many hours pouring over patterns and working my fingers to the bone to make them perfect.

Most of my friends seemed happy to have the blankets but I'm not sure if they were ever used. My one friend Joleene, loved all her blankets. She told me she and her husband fight over their love blanket and both of her kids baby blankets were used constantly. It makes me happy to know she appreciated the time I spent and loved them as mush as I did.

My other friend that I know liked her blankets is Nicole. I made a special Angel blanket for her first son. She had wanted a baby for so long and after almost 5 years of trying, she got pregnant using IVF. Now she's pregnant with baby boy #2 and I just finished his blanket. It is the cutest darn thing. I just had to brag:)

Seriously, could it be any cuter! Nicole has gotten the two best blankets out of all the ones I have made. I can't wait to give it to her. We just have to wait until May.

Mismatch Day!

Today at school is mismatch day. The kids are supposed to wear crazy mismatched clothing. It took A LOT of convincing, but here is the outfit that Annabelle finally agreed to wear. Flowered shirt, plaid pants, rainbow tutu, two different socks and two different shoes.

There were some reservations and she was close to tears right before we left the house. She was embarrassed that she would be laughed at but once we got to school and she saw the other kids and two out of her three teachers dressed up, she calmed down a little bit. Hopefully she has a good day or I'll have to hear about her embarrassment for the rest of the day! Who knew a 4 year old could be this fashion conscious?