Sad

I got a major wake up call yesterday afternoon. My Uncle Bob passed away from a massive heart attack. He was only 62 years old. He was my dad's oldest brother, only 8 years older than my dad. That is the part that kills me. What if I only have 8 years left with my dad? This has brought out the idea of my father's mortality. He smokes like a chimney and drinks like it's going out of style and he's so accident prone. He's constantly falling off of ladders, nail gunning himself to things getting run over by fork lifts. I'm not ready for my dad to die. He's not perfect, but he's all mine.

The other thing that bothers me is this. My family is not a super close one, especially on my dad's side. I only really see them at weddings and funerals. I had to Facebook my cousin to tell him that his father had died because they don't speak to each other anymore. It made me so sad that his mother and brother wouldn't even know how to get a hold of him for something this important. My sister and I don't always get along. There is almost 5 years between us and our mentalities and our lives are every different from each other but I can't ever imagine cutting her out of my life permanently. When something awful happens you are supposed to be able to lean on your family so that you don't fall down and my aunt and cousins don't have that right now.

As I said, I wasn't close with my uncle. In fact there are many times that he was just really weird or said things that are just wrong. But he loved to dance. His favorite song was "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls. It's a classic wedding song and when it came on he would jump into the middle of the dance floor so that every eye would be on him. He would be singing at the top of his voice and waving his hands in the air, having a great time. It always made me laugh so when I'm crying at his funeral later this week, I'll try to think of him having a blast where ever he is. Dancing to It's Raining Men:)