We Get to Watch

This week at our dance studio is Parent Watch Week.  We got to come in and watch Annabelle's class from start to finish.  Normally the door is closed and you just hear faint music and the girls yelling out the steps- jump ball change, jump ball change, point tendu together.  I'm always so excited to see Annabelle dance, and then every year I get depressed by how far behind she is with her gross motor skills than other kids.  Then there is her wandering mind where you see that she is paying no attention whatsoever to the teacher. 

I'm tyring to tell myself that she's doing fine, I believe she is the only first year in the class, but...  I worry that she will look silly up there on the stage.  That she will see that she's not as good as the other girls.  I'm not ready for her to have her first heartache at not being good enough.  I have to deal with my own insecurities about that, I don't want her to feel this way too.

But the last run through she did better.  She actually did most of the dance and some of it seemed like maybe she knew what she was doing.  Every year I get worried about how she'll do and every year she has done fine.  Not the best, not the worst.  For now she says she enjoys it and that is all that matters to me.  We'll see what happens down the road I guess.