This and That

So things have been crazy busy the past week so stuff like writing or reading any blogs have been put off to the side. We had a very fun Christmas and got some great gifts had a wonderful time with both families.

I was a bad sister and forgot to bring my sister her birthday presents. Her birthday is Dec 23 and we usually get together for lunch but we didn't do it this year. Then On Christmas I left her presents at home. Oops! I'll be seeing her tomorrow at my parents house so I'll bring them to her then. We don't usually do anything for New Year's Day, but my parents are having a little party. They ordered a Turduckin, a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. I'm a little unsure about it but there's always a first time for everything right?

This year is our off year for New Year's Eve. We're going to stay home and just be together tonight. We might head downtown for First Night since it's supposed to be almost 50 degrees today but we'll see how we're (I'm) feeling. I've got a huge migraine right now and an overdose of meds aren't helping so far:(

Mark and I decided that we are going on an adult only vacation this May to New Orleans. We booked our flights yesterday. I'm so excited! We haven't been alone together for more than two days in almost five years. I can't wait!

Just some quick Christmas pictures because I couldn't resist:) Santa footprints on the carpet make it even better for one little girl and one curious cat:)Are any of these for me?She had been asking and asking for a pillow pet for weeks. She was so happy to get one!It was a very Rapunzel Christmas at our house. She got the styling head, the tower, the Tangled game for her Leapster, the Rapuzel and Flynn Rider dolls and Maximus the horse. We've been playing with them for hours every day. Here we are at my BIL's house Christmas morning. It has been a fantastic year and my little family is better than ever. I can't wait to see what the new year will be bringing us! Hopefully much more fun, love and laughter.

Decorations!

I love my house all done up for the Holiday's. I know there are people that like to go for a more minimalist approach to decorating but not me. The more the better. We have about 20 bins of Christmas decorations and I like them all to be emptied of their contents and splashed all over the house. I even decorate the bathrooms. :) So here are a few pictures of our house decorated to the nines.This is the living room. The TV is going to be a focal point in most houses now-a-days so we might as well put lots of pretty things around the giant screen. Annabelle's idea of putting ornaments on the tree means that if there are 2 or more ornaments that "match", have a similar pattern or color, they must all be right next to each other.

Our tree is huge! We definitely don't have enough ornaments to fill it up like I would have liked but Annabelle makes it look pretty:)

This is our Family Room. We aren't allowed to actually use the fireplace but we still decorate it.I painted these houses when I was college.Dining Room time. I put our nice i.e. expensive village and the Rudolf tree on our buffet.

I just love this little tree!

Close ups of the Village scene

The centerpiece. I made this a few years ago but I still like it. You can see some of the chair covers too. They're gold and say peace, love, joy and hope.
This was one of my craft projects that I wanted to make this week. It's supposed to be a wreath but the wire I used is too flimsy. I still think it's pretty as a tear drop shape but I'll need to re-work it, just after Christmas.
And lastly the kitchen. We have a pass through from the kitchen to the family room and it's the perfect spot for some Christmas-y cheer.

Another one of my last minute projects that I made this week. I was originally going to hang them on the backs of our kitchen chairs but decided to put them on the cabinets instead.
And my last craft project of the week. The HO HO HO! They aren't quite finished yet, still have to glitterize the sides but still cute.

I hope everyone has a love-filled, happy, fun Christmas this year. Set apart some time to tell the important people in your life that you love them and say a little prayer of thanks to God for giving us his only Son.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I Don't Need This Right Now!

My husband is out of town for the next 3 days. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Did I mention that they told him yesterday around 3pm that he had to go to Rome, NY? Also there's the whole issue of Christmas Eve that we are hosting this year. Now I know that it's just my parents and in-laws but seriously, the house needs to be cleaned. Nothing major- dust, vacuum, kitchen floor and bathrooms but usually he helps me out. Now I'm all on my own with an excitable 4 year old. Help!

Speaking of the 4 year old. She is madly in love with the new Disney Tangled movie. I thought she would like it. I put Rapunzel stuff on her Christmas wish list. The Tower, the doll, Flynn Rider and Maximus the horse and one of those heads that you put make-up on and do the hair. I knew she would be happy with those things. My mom, sister and aunt bought her all of this stuff. But now Annabelle thinks Santa is bringing her Rapunzel stuff. And Santa hasn't gotten her ANY of it. I was thinking a melt down might occur. But luckily I have a great sister and she's exchanging some of her Rapunzel booty in exchange for some Santa gifts. Crisis averted (hopefully). So before dance class tonight, I'll be swinging by Heather's to do the big switcheroo.

And one last thing. I'm nuts. As I've noted, I'm all alone with lots to do. But silly me has decided that I want, no NEED to make 3 Christmas decoration crafts. Oh and I want them finished before Christmas Eve. They shouldn't take too much time but still. Why do I get these ideas in my head? I get so OCD about them. It was all I could think about last night instead of sleeping. If I finish, I'll post some pics because they should be super cute:)

Christmas Wish Come True

I'm finally getting my wish come true. It's not exciting. I can't hang it on the wall or hold it in my hands, but it is still the best gift I could have gotten this year... Annabelle hasn't gotten a fever in more than seven months! Now I know nobody knows about our fever issues but trust me, this is great!

Ever since Annabelle was about 4 months old, she has been getting fevers. Every 3-4 weeks like clockwork, she would get a raging fever. It usually averaged 102 to 104 degrees but there were times it went well over 106. It was agonizing for all of us. She would be completely incapacitated for three full days. No eating, little drinking and even less sleeping. She was sick for birthdays and holidays, missing out on the fun that went along with presents and goody bags, all because she was so sick. But it was always just the fever, no cough or runny nose. No complaint of pain anywhere in her tiny little body. We took her for tests to rule out cancer, leukemia, blood diseases. All came back negative. No one knew what was wrong with her.

There is nothing worse than holding your baby down while they stick her over and over with needles to draw her blood. So may tubes, 7 or 8 at a time. So much that I would think she didn't have much blood left to give. So after all of this and no results, it went down to plain old praying for her to be OK. Every night before bed, every week at church. It was all I prayed for. "Please let my Annabelle be OK. Please let her be healthy and happy. Let me be the one who's sick and in pain, not my little girl."

So this year for the first Christmas of her entire life, she will be healthy. I'm not worrying about the date and counting back to see if her fevers will be falling on Christmas. So while I can't see it or taste it or touch it, this year will be my happiest one yet because my little bugga will be happy and healthy. My prayers are finally coming true.

Tis the Season

Christmas has officially started for our family today. Annabelle had her Christmas play at school. I'm still angry that they only allow one parent to come and see the show. I went to the dress rehearsal so that Mark could see the show. I missed out on a visit from Santa Claus and the social afterwards which was disappointing. But at least Mark videoed the whole thing so that we will be able to watch it over and over and over and over... Annabelle may be a bit vain, she likes to watch herself.

Tonight we are heading over to my parents house for a mini Christmas gift exchange with my Aunt and cousin from Albany. Home-made stuffed shells, Caesar salad and warm pane Italian bread. Oh and the kids will get their toys from Aunt Michele, that's all they care about. Tomorrow we're having a holiday get together with my husband's family. Just a pot luck kind of thing but the kids will get a chance to run around and play while the adults talk and try to ignore any excessive noise coming from the toy room.

Next week will be a blur. I don't know if I'll be able to write much. I must get myself to the gym as often as I can because the Christmas cookies in the house are kicking my bum right now! I'll get on at least twice though. Have a great weekend!

Insomnia

I used to sleep so soundly. I remember a time when I could lay down and fall asleep almost immediately. All through the night and wake perfectly refreshed mere minutes before the alarm went off. And then I had a baby.

Now I know that she is four and a half years old and I don't need to wake at her every little sound anymore but I can't help it. The bad sleeping started when I was about seven months or so pregnant. I had to wake up to pee, to roll over, to readjust the 7, yes 7 pillows I needed to be even slightly comfortable to sleep. And then the first four or five months of her sleeping in our room, right next to the bed. When people say sleeping like a baby, they must have never heard a baby sleep. Annabelle would snore and grunt and sigh and wheeze. And I would just lay there praying for sleep to come.

Now she sleeps in her room, by herself. She has never slept in our bed, thank God, and doesn't even realize that she could come and cuddle in with us if she wanted to. But that doesn't stop me from being awake most nights, listening to her snore and sigh and talk and jingle Pooh Bear all while she's asleep.

So last night, after finally falling asleep somewhere around midnight after and hour and a half rolling around, I was annoyed when she woke up at 3:21am, screaming that she had to pee. I run to her room and she needs Daddy, not Mama. She had a little accident, I think she may have a slight UTI, and knew that Daddy is less angry in the middle of the night. (We have potty issues that drive me up the wall, but I won't get into them.) I laid awake in bed, praying for sleep, until well past 5. So I'm a bit tired and cranky, but I have to finish my grocery list because there is no way I'm heading to Wegman's next week unless I absolutely have to and I need to wash the kitchen floor because we're finally done making Christmas cookies. But what I really want to do is take a nap!

Change in Plans

Every year since 1999, Mark and I have gone to his Aunt's house for Christmas Eve. Slowly, people have stopped coming. We didn't do the $5 torturous gift exchange anymore and it had only been us, Mark's parents and brother and his aunt and uncle. Pretty lame but who wants to be alone on Christmas Eve?

Last year we had an early get together with everyone. The cousins and their kids, aunts, uncles, the whole enchilada. It was decided that we would do it again this year. It is nice to get a chance to hang out with family that we don't see all that often and our kids play together so nicely. So anyways, it was decided that there would be no Christmas Eve at Aunt Sandy's house. So what do I do? I volunteer to have Mark's parents and brother plus my parents over for Christmas Eve dinner. This was decided this past Saturday. Thirteen days before Christmas Eve. I might be nuts.

But I've come up with a menu that I think sort of rocks, especially if it all turns out. We will be having a roast with cheddar garlic mashed potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, broccoli slaw, butter corn, veggie medley and for dessert bread pudding with bananas foster sauce. Doesn't it sound Delicious? Don't you want to come over and have some? I'm ready for it now. I'm sure if it's not as good as it is in my head, I'll be complaining about my poor cooking skills on here. Fingers crossed though that it all turns out and my parents and in-laws get along OK. They have issues sometimes (well just the moms, our dads can get along with anyone).

It Annoys Me

I have one child. I don't plan on having anymore. I'm OK with that. But it seems like every other person on the face of the planet has an issue with it. Especially my mother. The plan was to have two kids but life changed, we evolved, and we made the decision to stop with one. Not because she's awful or we hate being parents, but because we have had to deal with certain issues after Annabelle was born. Mostly Mark's anxiety and we really don't want to go down that path again. It was one of the worst times of my life and it should have been my happiest.

But no matter how many times I try to explain to people, again mostly my mom but sometimes my sister and my friends, they never understand. It seems like they don't even try sometimes. It was not a decision that we made lightly. I know I will always have regrets that we didn't have baby #2, but I also know that this was the absolutely, 100% right choice for us. If circumstances had been changed even slightly, we would have tried again.

My mom riles me up sometimes (like I know all mother's do). And the main thing is the only child issue. Any time I complain about something behavior-wise, my mom chalks it up to her being an only child. Really mom? She's talking back and refusing to eat meals because she's an only child? Give me a break. So every time I mention Annabelle being anything less than 100% Angel, it's because she's an only child. It's like she's cursed in my mother's view. She'll never be happy or fulfilled or a productive member of society all because she's an only child. She'll be spoiled and ungrateful and all around an awful human being... you get the point.

I love my mom. I do so much. She is the person I can talk to about anything. She knows me. Can read my moods. Knows when to push and when to back off. There is not one single person in the world that can do that. Not even Mark, or my sister or my best friends. But on this topic she falls waaaaaay short of being understanding and it drives me nuts. How do i tell her to back off without hurting her feelings? How do I explain how this decision has made me feel?

Christmases Past

I had a pretty idyllic childhood. We didn't have a lot of stuff but we had so much fun. A big part of that was Christmas. My mom went all out. We had a big old tree covered in ornaments and tinsel. I know that there are lots of people that hate tinsel, but not me. I love it, the cheaper the better. I knew all of the words to every single Christmas carol practically before I could speak. We would spend an entire weekend making cookies. Cut outs, oatmeal, peanut butter, spritz, rocks, and then four or five others that sounded good after reading the recipes. Mom, dad, Heather and I would be covered in flour and sprinkles, singing Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole and The Partridge Family Christmas tapes at the top of our lungs. We had a big ugly, brown bowl that we made the dough in. Once all the ingredients were in we'd hand the bowl over to my dad with a wooden spoon and he was in charge of stirring in the flour. It was so much fun being with my family.

But the one thing that makes people stop and stare at me like a I suddenly grew a horn was our Christmas Eve tradition. We would head over to my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Kenny's house. All of my dad's family would be there, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandpa plus extended family. You know a married in uncles parents and siblings. There would be about 50 people crowded around each other. We would eat a big dinner, always the same foods, ham, better corn, multiple kinds of potatoes, buttery rolls, yule log and cookies for dessert.

But all we kids could think of was the tree exploding with presents. My Grandpa played Santa and handed out the gifts, amidst the squealing and wrapping paper wars. Showing off our spoils. Then when we were much littler we'd all strip down and get into our pj's. The it was time for the main event. Caroling. This is my favorite part.

We would squeeze into the den. I fire would be roaring in the fireplace. Matty and Dave would pull out their guitars and warm up with Metallica tunes while the sheet music was passed around. We'd fight over what to sing first even though we always sang every single song. There wasn't enough space to sit so people sat on laps, on the floor, on the stairs. We were so close that you were touching every single person near you. Shoulder to shoulder, legs laying across the next persons. And we would sing. All together. It was hot and uncomfortable but they are some of my favorite memories.

I can still hear my Grandpa's deep bass and my Jewish uncle singing every carol word for word, usually off key but he was gung ho about it. I can remember my parents proud faces when people around me realized that I could sing. We I was asked to sing Silent Night all by myself. The tears in every ones eyes remembering past Christmases and the people that were no longer with us and missed so much.

Then Christmas Day with the presents piled high from Santa. My Gram would spend the night so that she could see us open gifts. A big breakfast, an even bigger dinner and then out to the movies. My memories of my childhood Christmases are perfect. They are happy and jolly and enviable.

I didn't know back then how much all of my happy memories hurt my parents. How much my family only pretended to love each other. How much my mom disliked Christmas because of her own sad upbringing. The pasted on smiles, though my mom says that many of those smiles were genuine.

I hope that Annabelle will love Christmas like I do. I hope she loves it because of me, just like I love it because of MY mom. Knowing all that I know now makes Christmas a little bit more bittersweet. I get sad around this time of year sometimes when I think back on all of this. I know this year will be hard because I lost an uncle and my Aunt Kathy this year. And while I can never go back to those times, I cherish the happiness and the joy. I love the new memories and the new traditions that I'm making with my little family. I hope for only happy tears in the future when I think of my pretty little childhood Christmases.

Babies

One of my friends, a GNI girl, just found out the sex of her baby today. It's always exciting to here people's good news regarding their pregnancies but we were extra happy for Nicole. She has fertility issues and for her son Alex and this pregnancy (a boy by the way) in vitro was used. She is happy to soon have 2 boys but she did say she had hoped for a girl. She thought it was a girl, just her mother's intuition. I was surprised it is a boy too just because I believe mother's "know" things even when there are no explanations. I knew Annabelle was a girl well before we got the official news.

Right after I got pregnant, a started having dreams about babies. All the time. Almost every night. And these babies I dreamed of were always boys. Little blue booties and baseball caps but I never saw their baby boy faces. I just knew that I was holding a baby boy in my dream, so I assumed that baby was mine.

But then I had T H E dream. I was about 9 weeks along. I dreamed of a baby girl with blond hair and giant, huge, beautiful eyes. It was Christmas and we were at Mark's Aunt Sandy's house. She was wearing a red and white dress and we were getting ready to put her in her jammies. The dream was so real. I could feel the weight of that baby girl in my arms, smell her baby skin. I remember I woke up crying and telling Mark that I had just seen our baby. I told him she was perfect and beautiful. From that day on, she was she. When I talked to her or talked about her (which was all the time) she was she. My friends would question why I called her she. I told them I had a dream, she's a girl.

So on December 23 (my sister's birthday), we went in for the sonogram and when they said she was a girl, I wasn't surprised. I had dreamed my beautiful girl. And while that dream, the way Mark and I cried with joy when we found out she really was a she, the reality is even better. There are so many days when Annabelle Rae drives me insane but I wouldn't trade her for the world.

Santaland

When I was younger, my parents made very little money. We were by no means poor but I can remember how tight my parents finances were. There were little to no extras during the year. We didn't get to go on elaborate vacations. We camped, in a tent. But even without all the things that most of my friends had and what I think many kids just accept as facts of life now-a-days, we made some wonderful memories.

One of my favorite memories was going to Santaland. It was run for 2 weeks at the beginning of December every year at Chestnut Ridge Park in Orchard Park. And it was free which was a bonus for my cash strapped parents. I was old enough to know there wasn't a Santa any more but my sister is 5 years younger than me, and she believed we were at the North Pole. There was a visit with Santa, fake reindeer, a timetable of all of the cities in our area as to when Santa would be arriving, a horse drawn hay ride, crafts, cookies, hot chocolate, and sing alongs. We always had a great time.

Then they stopped running Santalnad for 10 or more years. It was run by volunteers and donations and they just couldn't get enough people to help out. But 3 years ago, they started it up again. So we packed up Annabelle in her snowsuit and went to Santaland this past weekend. I had high expectations, which were let down slightly. The hay ride wasn't horse drawn anymore, the fake reindeer and Santa's time table were gone. But Annabelle had a great time. It was wonderful to see her happy little face that whole afternoon. Even if my expectations were mildly dashed, it was OK because she was enjoying herself like I used to do when I was a kid.

First we did some sledding. But when I say we I really mean Mark and Annabelle because I'm not really an "outdoorsy" kind of girl.After some sledding Annabelle and her cousins, Austin and Anya warmed up by the fire. This was the smaller fireplace!After some crafts and face painting we went in to see Santa. But first some cookies and hot chocolate. Yum!Annabelle enjoyed some as well.Santa was a bit scary with his super loud Ho Ho Ho's right as Annabelle tried to climb into his lap but she did OK. Sorry for the blurry photo but our camera is dying and Mark was in charge of picture taking that day, which is always a mistake.Annabelle, Anya and I sitting by the stage singing some Christmas carols.Then my baby got up on the stage and helped sing along to Rudolf! Are we cute or what?!

Annabelle was so in charge of that sleigh! She was whipping those wooden reindeer hard!

So over all it was a good day. It was nice to do something Christmas-y with my sister , her family and my parents. Christmas is not my mom's favorite time of the years but she had a great time watching the kids get excited over Santa. Next visit will be even better, I'm sure:)

Cards!

I am this close (fingers barely touching) to being done with my Christmas cards. I decided to make my own this year. They are cute I do have to say. All sparkly and glittery. I hope everyone else will like them as much as I do.

I LOVE getting Christmas cards. There is nothing better than opening up the mailbox and seeing those red and green envelopes in there. I have 3 card holders so that I can proudly display all of our cards. I love that for that minute or so, while they are writing out our address and signing the card, that person is thinking about me and my family. I always write a little note inside and sign our names. I don't like cards without those little touches as much. I know it's a pain to write your names in all of those cards. It's so much easier to download a cute picture on Snapfish or Shutterfly and have it all done for you. But I like to take the time. Think about who I'm sending this too. It makes me happy to remember them, even if it takes more time. It's worth it to me.

This is what I woke up to this morning. Beautiful, glorious snow! I love snow, while looking out the windows toasty and warm inside. It was perfect Christmas snow; big, fluffy, wet flakes. Just right for making a snowman or having a snow ball fight. But driving in that snow is another story. Visibility was poor and we are expected to get another 6-12 inches by tomorrow, so there is the possibility of a snow day.

But I'm happy right now to see my pretty trees outside and watch Annabelle's face light up. I don't plan on worrying about the adult things that need worrying about (snow blowing, driving conditions, school closings, family and friends all safe from the weather) until I have to. Right now I'll remember when I was a kid and snow was a miracle, not a hassle. To the pure joy of playing outside and coming in to hot chocolate and my mom blowing warm air kisses onto my frozen fingers. Apple cheeks and cherry noses and snow pants and boots, yard long scarves, mittens and socks and jackets and hats. I love snow for the memories that it has for me, of the care-free me that gets hard to remember sometimes. That is until the first snow falls again.