Insomnia

I used to sleep so soundly. I remember a time when I could lay down and fall asleep almost immediately. All through the night and wake perfectly refreshed mere minutes before the alarm went off. And then I had a baby.

Now I know that she is four and a half years old and I don't need to wake at her every little sound anymore but I can't help it. The bad sleeping started when I was about seven months or so pregnant. I had to wake up to pee, to roll over, to readjust the 7, yes 7 pillows I needed to be even slightly comfortable to sleep. And then the first four or five months of her sleeping in our room, right next to the bed. When people say sleeping like a baby, they must have never heard a baby sleep. Annabelle would snore and grunt and sigh and wheeze. And I would just lay there praying for sleep to come.

Now she sleeps in her room, by herself. She has never slept in our bed, thank God, and doesn't even realize that she could come and cuddle in with us if she wanted to. But that doesn't stop me from being awake most nights, listening to her snore and sigh and talk and jingle Pooh Bear all while she's asleep.

So last night, after finally falling asleep somewhere around midnight after and hour and a half rolling around, I was annoyed when she woke up at 3:21am, screaming that she had to pee. I run to her room and she needs Daddy, not Mama. She had a little accident, I think she may have a slight UTI, and knew that Daddy is less angry in the middle of the night. (We have potty issues that drive me up the wall, but I won't get into them.) I laid awake in bed, praying for sleep, until well past 5. So I'm a bit tired and cranky, but I have to finish my grocery list because there is no way I'm heading to Wegman's next week unless I absolutely have to and I need to wash the kitchen floor because we're finally done making Christmas cookies. But what I really want to do is take a nap!