Fantasies

Now don't get dirty on me here, but everyone has them.  They can range from XXX spicy to puppy dog pure but do they ever really compare to real life?  No matter what you're thinking or obsessing about, it usually falls flat when or if it actually comes true.  I can dream all day long about being with some really hot guy or movie star crush but when I'm thinking about them, they are perfect.  I imagine them being romantic and thoughtful, tons of fun.  There is never the reality that they will throw their dirty underwear next to the hamper and not in it, just like my husband.

Mark and I were together for 7 years before we got engaged.  My idea of what marriage and all the grown up stuff that went with it was never part of my dream.  I thought of all the fun and romantic stuff that we would do together.  Vacations and I thought that decorating our new house and having a baby together would be like living on cloud nine.  It didn't take long for my bubble to pop.  Balancing check books, laundry and cleaning toilets became my reality.  Not quite enough money to decorate the house the way I dreamed was my reality.  A colicy baby and an anxiety-ridden husband, who spiraled close to out of control, was my reality.  It was hard.  I cried all the time.  But we made our way through it, together. 

After almost 8 years of married life, 16 years together, we have weathered mnay storms.  The ups and downs can make your head spin, but we now are on a pretty even keel.  My fantasies lean more toward the mundane, a maid to clean my toilets for me, a trip to Disney to see Annabelle smile or Wsahington DC to get a history fix.  Don't get me wrong, I still plan on those trips to Europe and Egypt and Africa in my head.  Some of them will actually come true.  I still have my crushes that I make into the perfect person but I still have some great fantasies that I get to actually act out with my husband.  And they tend to turn out really great:)