Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Complaint

I started this blog as a way to put my own feelings out there.  Sometimes I had an idea, a memory that I wanted to revisit.  Sometimes I was having a bad me day.  I was using this as a sounding board for myself, not really a way to be out there as a presence in the blog-o-shpere.  I don't beg for followers, go looking for them, I didn't tell people about this.  It was a journal-type thing for me.  I wrote about stuff that didn't warrant a conversation when I was with my friends, either being too trivial or too heart wrenching.

My blog has certainly changed.  While I still use it as a way to document my life as it happens around me, I don't share my troubles, my fears, my angry times like I used to.  That feels so restricting to me lately.  I stopped because I slipped, told a friend about blogging something.  She found me and we had such a fight over things I had written.  About a rift that had grown between us.

Lately I feel that rift growing again due to a few things.  Things that I won't or can't mention in case she shows up again.  So I feel limited because writing things out when I was sad or mad or whatever, helped me put it in perspective.  She says I should write a journal but I don't want Mark or Annabelle to be able to find it and read my thoughts, especially when they aren't so good.  She says type out a post or letter and don't ever press send, but I need to be able to go back and feel the things I was feeling.  Maybe that's stupid to relive the bad stuff but it's the way I work. 

So I will stick it inside for right now, but I'm feeling the pinpricks of hurt.  Hopefully they will fade soon.

4 comments:

  1. I am positive you are not alone in wanting to be able to blog about what you are thinking without hurting someone's feelings. I think people can decide to read or not and we aren't all going to agree on what the blogger is saying- but its your right to share. I am often unable to express my thoughts on my blog and that saddens me- but if you intend your blog to be a place to vent, then as a friend, I would have to respect you for sharing it. If your friend thinks the best way to get through an emotion is to write a non-letter and hit delete then that's her own way. You shouldn't change yourself to accommodate others. People should accept you for you, even when you are sharing the dirty thoughts.

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  2. You should write what you want on your blog. I have family members reading mine and I know I bug them with some things I write. But I remind them that it's my blog.

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  3. I don't tell many IRL people about my blog for the same reasons. It seems so much easier to just say what I need to say w/o worrying about what they think.

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  4. I agree with WW. This is your blog, your space, your domain and you should be able to write what you choose. Obviously I wouldnt put names/pictures and such of not so good situations but if those people are reading it, then it might give them insight as to why you are feeling a certain way, doing what you are doing, etc. We all need an outlet you have just chosen it to be more public with people that you dont necessarily know personally however sometimes those are the best because people outside looking in can give you unbiased opinions. You can't always please everybody.

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