A few weeks ago, Annabelle had a friend over. Ava's mom had to work so her dad brought her over. After Ava left, Annabelle asked me why her mom was working. She was very confused. Dad's work, mom's stay home and take care of us. That's what Annabelle said. It makes the hardships of being a stay at home mom worth it. I try not to complain when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I try not to feel guilty for being home now that Annabelle's in school all day. Mark has never once asked me to start helping out , money wise. My job, pure and simple, is to take care of my family right now. I know that I'm blessed to be able to do this. To be able to volunteer and plan parties at school. To go on field trips and be known by all the kids in Annabelle's class.
But sometimes the guilt of all my lofty plans haunts me, vacations and house stuff. Shopping for the stuff I want but don't need. It all costs money, nothing is free. They are hiring front desk people at my gym for the morning. That would ideally work for me but right now I'm being selfish. It's in the morning that i take my classes. The idea is rooting itself into my brain right now though. I don't know what will come of it. Probably nothing because I know deep down that my job is my family. I'm trying to be OK with that.