Wednesday, September 29, 2010
But there are parents out there that should be ashamed of themselves. I try not to judge when I hear a child screaming uncontrollably when we're at the grocery store. Annabelle was the epidemy of the terrible two's, tantrums and screaming both at home and out in public. I learned how to walk out of a store or restaurant to let the other patrons relax and not have to watch her bang her head on the ground, repeatedly, hard. I also learned to throw her in to her crib and walk away until I was calm enough to deal with her.
Last week, I took Annabelle to the dentist. She hates the dentist. She's wary of men, even ones that she knows, the fluoride treatment makes her sick to her stomach plus she has her father's teeth and has already had a cavity filled. She simply knows the dentist as a nice guy but someone that hurts her or makes her uncomfortable.
So when we walked in and heard a child creaming like they were trying to pull out his fingernails, Annabelle started getting more upset. Now this boy looked to be about Annabelle's age. It also seemed to be his first visit because his mother was filling out all kinds of paper work, so I get it that he was scared. The mother finally settles him down in the video room and starts to give all the papers to the receptionist, when her son walks calmly over to a little girl who was playing on the floor and kicks her in the face!
This little girl was 11 months old (I found out after speaking to the girl's mother) was paying no attention to this boy. Obviously she started crying and the boy walked away like nothing happened. The boys mother looked over, saw what happened and continued to finish up with the paperwork. About 10 minutes later she came over asking if the little girl was ok (she was) and then said, "My son is a good boy. It's just that he was 12 weeks premature and even though he's super smart, he has problems with socialization."
Let that soak in. This mother, instead of disciplining her child, used an excuse to validate his behavior. A piss poor excuse at that. If Annabelle had EVER done something like that I would have yanked her away so hard. She would know without a doubt that she was in trouble. No counting, no time out, no warnings and definitely no excuses. But she knows better because I made sure that she always knows what I expect of her, always. From the little things like getting a candy bar if she's good at the grocery store to hitting to how to behave in a public place. Hell I'm the mom on the playground that is yelling at other people's children when they aren't behaving correctly.
I don't blame that child for his bad behavior. I blame his mother. It seems that she has let him do and act any way he feels like it, just because he was a preemie. Th excuses only go so far. When he's robbing banks will hat be her excuse for him. She needs to look in the mirror and face the hard fact that she is in the wrong. And then do something about it. It will be ten times harder to fix the problem now but it can be done. I hope that she learned her lesson while it was staring her right in the face but I don't think that she did.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
So I was thinking about this because I watched the show Sister Wives on TLC yesterday. I won't lie, I was curious about how that works. I don't know anyone with that belief system so it's not like I can ask my friend about her polygamous sex life. And while I know that it is part of a religious ideology, I think that it's weird. I am not trying to be close-minded or derogatory against it but I just don't understand. (And yes, I do realize stating that I'm not close-minded puts me firmly into that category.)
They had a rotating sleep schedule and individual date nights. There are 12 children between the 3 wives with one on the way. Plus the husband was courting another woman with 3 kids to bring into the fold. Just the logistics of running that household was way beyond me. There are days that i barely function with just 3 people in our house!There are days when no cleaning, laundry or cooking are accomplished because I'm tired or worn out or sick or just feeling plain lazy!
They talked about why they like the polygamous lifestyle. The security of having other "mothers" to help them with the parenting or God forbid one of them died. Their children would have a built in support system of half-siblings and motherly presences to help them. I get that. My biggest fear is dying and leaving Annabelle without a mother. But even though Mark doesn't have multiple wives on the back burner (that I know of anyways), I know that I have my sister and my group of friend's to help her when she gets her first period, buy a prom dress, learn how to properly apply make-up. All the things that I should be there for.
For me, it all falls back on the sharing of the husband. I like to sleep with my husband, in my bed. I'm am not a cuddler, don't touch me while I'm sleeping. It's too hot, too uncomfortable trying to mold myself to fit you better but there is a comfort in having him just an inch away from me if I want him. I've been sick for the last few days and Mark has been sleeping on the couch because he thinks I'll make him sick by sleeping next to each other. But I'm getting tired of that. The first night was great, lots of room, no snoring. I'm ready for him to come back though. And that would be my downfall in polygamy. I wouldn't want to sleep with my husband every 3-4 days and be alone all of the others. Plus, I'm a jealous bitch a lot of the time. I'd be constantly wondering if he was doing it with the other wife that night. Tiptoeing past the door, making myself feel bad if I heard anything.
So Polygamy is out for me unless I get all the good stuff. Date nights, sex, stimulating conversation. She can have the laundry and the cleaning and the grocery shopping. The tasks that I really dislike about being married. But I don't know any ladies out there that would be willing to follow my rules so I guess it will just be me and Mark by our lonesome.
Friday, September 24, 2010
This is the part that is a little bit weird for me but I'm going to put it out there anyways. Steph had a dream to become an author. She used to ask me for my opinion on her writing. I wouldn't get too much into it, just if I liked where she was going with it, if I saw anything major in terms of plot. It's not like I'm a professional editor or anything.
She worked on her craft and got better, joined a writer's group in the area and she didn't need me so much anymore. And while I was a bit bummed, I knew that her writer friend's had a better understanding of what she needed to do in order to complete her dream. And she did. She has published a chick lit novel. When she told me about the contract, I was so happy for her. She hoped for it be a big breakout hit and I did too. I plugged her on facebook, told people to be prepared for my wonderful friend's book- Coming Soon!
But then I started feeling like she was getting too pleased with herself. It was all she could talk about and I will admit that I felt that green-eyed monster sitting on my shoulder. She was making all of these plans for when she made it big. Got her first check, writer's conferences, etc. I felt like she wasn't being the Stephanie that I have known for the past 10 years. She had always been a little shy, always questioning if she was doing right, being good enough. I could totally understand that because I myself have always been the good girl. I started feeling mildly uncomfortable around her but I really thought it was the jealousy talking.
The last weekend, Mark and I had a wedding to go to. His cousin Kim was marrying a very nice man named Joe and i was looking forward to talking to some of Mark's cousins. We don't see them often but I always have the best conversations with them, especially Dawn. So there we are, talking away, all through dinner and drinks. About our kids things that we found funny reading on each others pages on FB. And then Dawn lowers the boom on me.
"You know your friend Steph? I feel like she's being pretty mean to you lately. She's not being very positive towards you and I feel like she's trying to one up you every time you post something. I've felt this for almost a year but I know she's your close friend and I didn't think it was any of my business to yell at someone that I don't even know on FB."
I wasn't sure what to think at first. I had felt that she wasn't being her usual positive self towards me but I thought it was the jealousy thing. Now someone else, virtual stranger to Steph, is feeling the same thing. I'm just so unsure of myself. I've been beating myself up for the past year or more, feeling like it was my fault we starting to grow apart. It wasn't progressing in leaps and bounds but I felt that separation. I feel like maybe I'm not so wrong as I did before.
So I've been sitting with these feelings for 6 whole days. I haven't talked to anyone about it. Not Dawn again, or Mark, or Stephanie and I don't know what to do or feel. I don't like confrontation but I don't want people to assume that they can be mean or negative or whatever and I'll just let them do it, just walk all over me. So I sit here with my feeling hurt and stew and complain here now. But it feels better to have it off of my chest.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I don't know this kid. What does he like to do? How do I decide what to buy him? I'm not trying to be cheap but I don't want to be spending mucho buckerinos on something I;m not even sure he would want to play with. I didn't think that we would have this issue until next year. So I'm conflicted. I think I might try to see what the other parents are thinking of doing and then maybe talking to his mom for some ideas of what he likes.
(On a totally different note, I'm up to 1.5 miles running on the treadmill. Just under half way to that 5k)
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
My salute right back to you, boys.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
So because of this aspect, nobody knows that I'm out here. No friends, no family, not even my husband. I feel like if I told people about this, then they'd feel like they had to stop on over. And if I'm complaining about someone, I wouldn't want their feelings to be hurt. I'm a classic people pleaser, by the way.
So do I start telling people about this? It seems weird that I would start all of these months later. But sometimes I'll be talking about something and I'll stop myself from saying that I had blogged about it. I'm just confused about what to do.
Monday, September 13, 2010
So fast forward a few weeks and she decides she wants, no she NEEDS to watch Mickey's Twice Upon Christmas. After a small power struggle, I relented because really what's it hurting? But now she's been singing We Wish You a Merry Christmas constantly and last night she started making her list. Little post-it notes of scribbles scattered throughout the house, many of which she slept with last night.
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas more than anything, but I love Halloween and pumpkins and cider (just bought some at Wegman's, yum). I can't wait to go to the Spirit store to look at costumes. Friends of ours have a big, adult only Halloween bash the first weekend of November each year. It's the one time of year that I can dress up slutty if I feel like it and be able to get away with it!
But Annabelle is ready for Christmas, running to her windows every morning hoping for snow. The more excited she gets, the more excited I feel. So I guess we'll be singing carols for months in advance and we'll know the words to every single Christmas movie out there by next month. It makes me wish I was a kid again without any of the worry that comes along with Christmas. But Annabelle brings all of that out of me, so I guess I get to relive it through her. :)
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
He's kinda weird and quirky but he just does it for me. Those black eyes and the cheek bones and just the whole package. I mean if you can look hot as a drunken pirate than you must look good all of the time:)
He plays Puck in Glee and there is just something about this bad boy. When I'm watching the show, my eye is automatically drawn to him in every scene.
Now he's not normally my type. I like really dark eyes and dark hair but I just can't help but love Ewan. He can sing and dance and has the cutest Scottish accent. I love his smile and just about everything about him.Zac Efron
He may be young but he's still legal:) I get a rush just looking at him. My friend and I made complete fools of ourselves in front of a movie poster of him when we were in LA last year. He is the only reason to watch High School Musical.Paul Gaustad
I look forward to Sabres hockey every fall, but having a "hockey boyfriend" as my husband calls him, makes it even better. He is the only one on the list that makes Mark mildly nervous. If I were to have a chance at any of these men, it would be Paul. He lives near-by and according to my husband I'm cute enough to get him:) Plus we share a birthday. We must be a match made in heaven.Ryan Reynolds
He's got a great body and he's funny. Need I say more?Orlando Bloom
If you don't like Johnny Depp than Orlando is probably the one who did it for you in the Pirates movies. The hair, the eyes, the accent. It's all good in my book.Eric Dane
Who wouldn't want a hot doctor? His name is McSteamy for a reason.
So what do you think of my list? Any additions I should make? I'm always open to adding on:)
So now all that free time that I was supposed to have seems not quite long enough. I mean once I go on the treadmill for 40 minutes, do some weights, and take a shower and get ready, more than an hour has been eaten up. So then I need to decide, do I clean the bathroom or wash the kitchen floor or maybe just go on Facebook and read my blogs. It's really such a hard decision. :)
So I've given myself permission to be lazy the rest of the week. No need to rush into a schedule just yet. I have the rest of the school year to make my home immaculate, have perfect 5 course meals prepared for dinner every night and whittle away those last 15 pounds. Right now I choose to talk on he phone with my sister for an hour and watch 19 Kids and Counting. Just this week :)