Friday, December 10, 2010

It Annoys Me

I have one child. I don't plan on having anymore. I'm OK with that. But it seems like every other person on the face of the planet has an issue with it. Especially my mother. The plan was to have two kids but life changed, we evolved, and we made the decision to stop with one. Not because she's awful or we hate being parents, but because we have had to deal with certain issues after Annabelle was born. Mostly Mark's anxiety and we really don't want to go down that path again. It was one of the worst times of my life and it should have been my happiest.

But no matter how many times I try to explain to people, again mostly my mom but sometimes my sister and my friends, they never understand. It seems like they don't even try sometimes. It was not a decision that we made lightly. I know I will always have regrets that we didn't have baby #2, but I also know that this was the absolutely, 100% right choice for us. If circumstances had been changed even slightly, we would have tried again.

My mom riles me up sometimes (like I know all mother's do). And the main thing is the only child issue. Any time I complain about something behavior-wise, my mom chalks it up to her being an only child. Really mom? She's talking back and refusing to eat meals because she's an only child? Give me a break. So every time I mention Annabelle being anything less than 100% Angel, it's because she's an only child. It's like she's cursed in my mother's view. She'll never be happy or fulfilled or a productive member of society all because she's an only child. She'll be spoiled and ungrateful and all around an awful human being... you get the point.

I love my mom. I do so much. She is the person I can talk to about anything. She knows me. Can read my moods. Knows when to push and when to back off. There is not one single person in the world that can do that. Not even Mark, or my sister or my best friends. But on this topic she falls waaaaaay short of being understanding and it drives me nuts. How do i tell her to back off without hurting her feelings? How do I explain how this decision has made me feel?


  1. I know mothers can be the worst, even though they mean well.
    Ultimately it is your life, you made a decision that you are good with. Nothing else matters. Everyone else will just have to get over it.

  2. The thing is that she was there and saw Mark near his worst after Annabelle was born. She saw how hard it was and she still acts like it never happened except if she's feeling cranky about my husband.

    Thanks, I just needed to vent.

  3. I feel your pain my mother is the exact same.
    im here anytime you wanna vent.