Monday, January 31, 2011

Tough Decisions Have to Be Made

And I don't like it one bit. I have mentioned that Mark and I are going on vacation in a few months and while we are super excited about it, it means more work for us and namely my in-laws. We will be gone for five whole days without Annabelle, which makes me a bit nervous and she'll be staying with my mother and father in law. I know she'll be fine but I also know that the day we leave I will be a basket case. I know that I will be a crying mess leaving her but that I will also calm down after we get there and hear that she's doing OK without us.

But we now have a project that NEEDS to be completed (well started actually). We need to make a will. I know that we should have had one done ages ago, after we bought our house. Then after we had Annabelle, we said we should make a will. And now four and a half years later, we still don't have one. But soon we will be going away and the need to have one has escalated for me. And it's so hard! I have an aunt who is a lawyer, and she's going to do the will for us, so no lawyer fees and she's giving some advice as to what we need to decide on, but it's not simple decisions we're making here.
  1. we need a guardian and alternate guardian
  2. an executor and alternate executor
  3. trustee and alternate trustee

Picking six people doesn't seem like it should be so hard. We had gone back and forth about guardianship. How do I decide who gets to care for Annabelle for the rest of her life without hurting another person? I know that both my parents and Mark's parents would want her, would expect her. But after some soul searching, we came up with a plan and I am good with it. It would be the best for Annabelle with everything that we had to consider.

What we are hung up on right now is the executor. I think it should be family, our parents or his brother, Mark wants it to be a close friend. I understand his reasoning, that divvying up our belongings will be harder on family than a friend but. How do you ask a friend to be the referee between our parents if they are fighting over something. Mark seems to think we have so many wonderful things that everyone will want. Beyond the TV and the furniture, we don't have much. No expensive jewelry or cherished items that anyone would want.

It's tying my insides into knots thinking about everything. I have time to make these decisions, my aunt won't be in town until the end of March, but it's driving me crazy right now! So what do I do? Pick a name out of a hat or what?


  1. I have a living will because of my health. because I have specific wishes to be up held.

    and just cause you tell someone doesnt mean they will actually be carried out.
    Its a good thing to have, no matter what age you are. : )

  2. I have thought about a living will just because i don't want to linger, not for any illness like you KittyCat. My sister has promised to pull the plug for me if it needs to be done. She's a nurse so she has an idea of what I'd be able to recover from.

    In the end, as long as Annabelle's taken care of, that's all that matters to me. But hopefully I won't need to worry about it.