Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Who is the fairest of them all.

Sometime last week, Thursday or Friday maybe, there was an article in the Wall Street Journal stating that the Buffalo Bills are the prettiest team in the NFL.  Now I would like everyone to think that I'm so smart that I read the WSJ but I actually heard about it on the news.  Now when I heard the story on the news, I thought it was a joke.  Were there really people out there rating football players "cuteness" factor?  I mean someone with a real job, not girl fans sitting on the sidelines.  But it was all real!  I can't believe that people get paid to do this stuff for real. 

Can you imagine having your boss come up to you and say, "Here is a list of football players.  Run them through facial symmetry software and then tell me which team is the prettiest."  Wouldn't you laugh in their face?  I know I would!

So with an over 99% perfect facial symmetry rating, the Bills are the nicest looking boys out there, as opposed top the Kansas City Chiefs with only 94% symmetry.  Can you just picture the guys strutting around the locker room, preening in front of the mirror before interviews?  Most of the guys just laughed it off when they were asked about it, claiming only their wives thought they were cute.  At least they are humble.  But to make things even better, the Bills played the Chiefs this past Sunday and the Bills won!  41-7!  Pretty beat ugly.  Maybe now that we are so pretty, our confidence will go up, we'll play better and we'll win the Super Bowl this year!

Oh, wishful thinking?  Yeah if we could go 8-8 most Bills fans would be happy.  These are the guys that were rated on the team and determined to be oh so good looking. 

Owner: Ralph Wilson

Head Coach: Chan Gailey

Quarterback: Ryan Fitzpatrick

Wide Receiver: Steve Johnson

Center: Eric Wood

Tight End: Scott Chandler

Running Back: Fred Jackson

Nose guard or d-tackle: Kyle Williams

Defensive end or linebacker: Shawne Merriman

Cornerback: Terrence Mcgee

Safety: Jairus Byrd

Kicker: Rian Lindell

So hopefully these guys will make us a better team on the field, not just off it.  Don't get a big head from this guys!

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