Monday, September 5, 2011

Mommy Angst

Tomorrow, Annabelle will be a Kindergartener!  I am so excited for her.  We've dropped off her supplies and met her teacher, gotten her bus pass and talked about her excitement endlessly.  I was doing so good... but the last few days I've been so sad.  Ready to break into tears at any mention of her getting on that big, old bus. 

I mentioned this to a few of my friends and they looked at me like I was a mental case.  That didn't make me feel any better, I can assure you.  They didn't seem to think it was a big deal, worth my tears.  I know that I am a big baby, can cry at the drop of a hat, but it is a big deal to me!

I know that when I watch her get on the bus tomorrow morning at 7:55 am, I will be remembering her as a baby, all of her big, first milestones.  Smiling, walking, talking, even the not so nice ones, scrapes and temper tantrums and talking back (we are doing that all the time now).  I am so proud of her and how she's grown into such a sweet little girl.  I know that I had a hand in that, but much of it is just her nature.

So I know with all assurance that I will sob like a baby tomorrow morning but I will hold on until the bus pulls away.  I will not care that all of my neighbors will probably see me.  They all have kids older, grown.  I know that they will understand my ache of letting her go.  I miss her babiness but I love her big-girl-ness.

And then Mark is taking my out for breakfast so that I can gorge my feelings with pancakes.  It's the best way to make you feel better:)


  1. I noticed most when my baby (third child) went to kindergarten. I think I was too busy to get to caught up in my first going off. It helped that there were 15 other's at that bus stop...all neighbor kids. But my baby... well I totally hear you,by that time, he was the only one at the bus stop. I bawled like a baby. He was the only one that I followed the bus to school to make sure he got off ok and found his was to his teacher. He never knew I did that. After tomorrow... When she comes home full of excitement the sadness will go away and you'll look forward to all of her new experiences in school. Hang in there, I'll be thinking about you tomorrow when you see your sweet girl off to school. Let us know how she does (and how mom did)

  2. Thank you so much Jackie. I know she will be fine, she's so excited already. I'm just not ready for her to be so grown up! I probably won't post anything tomorrow, but there will be some photos up on Wed. for sure:)

  3. Hopefully it went well! My daughter just started kindergarten a couple weeks ago. And it's going OK I think--she doesn't say too much. And I love that you're getting pancakes--how sweet!